The Only Way (to burn off the Xmas kilo's) is Essex
This ride, the 12th of the 92 counties to be visited planned back in November only happened courtesy of the inspiration thrust upon me by Leeds rugby league legend Kevin Sinfield’s 101 mile run in aid of MND supporting his good mate Rob Burrows. I had previously decided that century rides in the short daylight hours and inclement weather of the winter months December and January were best avoided. Kevin Sinfield’s determination to make his challenge “as brutal as possible” and actually wishing for Baltic weather to emphasise how much MND sufferers go through daily really struck a chord with me and so the 29th of December 2021 was put in the diary as a “must do” date for my next county century.
As it turns out I struck lucky, possibly one of the warmest December days on record greeted me in Essex with the days high temperature of 17 Degrees C and a little bit of drizzle not registering on the “brutal” scale!
This should actually have been county number thirteen but my planned ride round Wiltshire embarrassingly ended in failure due to a lack of planning on my part. Having driven down to Malmesbury in the early hours it was only after paying the parking fee I realised I hadn’t packed any cycling jerseys or jackets and with the temperature hovering just above 6 degrees I took the painful decision to turn my trip down to Wiltshire as an extended commute to work!
Needless to say with the Wiltshire debacle at the forefront of my thoughts planning for the Essex ride began a couple of days in advance with my two year and 8,000km+ old Hutchison override tubeless tyres being swapped out for some new ones. Despite the many stories of gunky mess and impossibly tough tyres to get on rims you hear about tubeless set-ups the task was surprisingly simple and mess free – surely a good omen for my Essex ride.
My bag of cycling gear was triple checked and placed in the van along with the bike the evening before to make my 5:30AM departure to make first light at Saffron Walden as quiet and quick as possible. The journey was a trouble free two hour trip although being in the pitch dark was a tedious affair, free parking for Xmas week in Saffron Walden was an unexpected bonus.
Christmas day just a few days earlier had turned into an extended beer tasting session with Rocky, resulting in much singing and generally wobbling about in the now thoroughly christened Logan’s Bar. So as dawn broke I was conscious that I had barely 8 hours of daylight and my current level of fitness was definitely at base rather than peak level following these few weeks of less activity and more beer, thus photo stops and general pottering about in the towns along the way would be at a premium.
Heading south out of Saffron Walden into a strong headwind I settled in to a steady pace keen to make good progress in the first half of the day so as not to be spending the last few miles at the back end of the day in the dark. I had plenty of light capacity so safety wasn’t the key issue just a desire to actually see the sights in an area of the country I had never visited before.
Audley End House – one of the most opulent Jacobean houses is owned by English heritage with glorious grounds and gardens designed by Capability Brown unfortunately my planned route through the gardens were blocked by closed gates so a short detour capably managed by my Komoot route had me back on the planned route quickly. The rural lanes between the small towns and villages of Newport, Henham and Molehill Green are part of Sustrans regional route 50 and are excellent cycling roads with good surfaces and enough twists and turns and gentle undulations through the arable farmland to keep it interesting even though the scenery isn’t spectacular.
Watery Lane truly lived up to it’s name with approximately 1km of low lying road submerged up to bottom bracket depth and with numerous small brooks fast flowing across the road making me seriously grateful for my 38mm gravel tyres rather than some 25mm slicks. Skirting passed a very quiet Stansted Airport Moreton was another delightful village typical of the area historically grown around a small Roman bridge and today at the confluence of small rural roads in a predominantly agricultural area.
Greensted church’s actual age is open to debate officially dated 845 AD excavations in the 1960’s revealed timbers from the 6th and 7th centuries an unusual building worth a quick photo stop. A common theme of the villages in the area was the presence of large commons or village greens offering community space and in the case of Matching Green an impressive cricket Pavillion.
Next up was a lovely cruise through gently descending lanes into busy Chelmsford. I opted for the cycle route through the town’s Admiral’s and Central parks along the River Can and passed through the town traffic free with kids trying out Xmas scooters and bikes and stubborn geese the only hazards!
The one climb of the day greeted me at the halfway point, North Hill climbs away from the river Chelmer through to the village of Little Beddow. I confess here that Simon Warren’s best climbs of the South East carries on to Danbury, my route turned off at Little Beddow rather than taking in the full climb which joins on to the busier A414, as it is rated as only a 1/10 and Simon describes it “let’s make it clear this isn’t a tough climb but there’s nothing else about” my guilt at not completing the full climb was assuaged.
The easiest cycling of the day followed with the route dropping gently towards the Blackwater Estuary at Maldon here I grabbed a quick sausage roll outside at the Lakeside Kiosk and a photo with statue of the day, Byrhtnoth the Earldom of Essex who confronted the Vikings aged 68 in the battle of Maldon looking out to sea.
Riding away from Maldon heading North I was hoping the cross tailwind would be of more assistance than it felt, perhaps I was just paying the price for the indulgences of the previous weeks as the route wound its’ way up towards Witham I found out what the “Unknown” 352m of surface were on my Komoot route profile – it was mud, thick gloopy leaf strewn mud, on a footpath along the river Chelmer. This section certainly wasn’t road riding so a rare black mark for Komoot on this one but to be fair the rest of the route had been excellent. I rode it of course, except for having to stop, grab a stick and poke out the mud and leaves wedging my tyre to the mudguards!
As I neared Braintree traversing more of the same quiet country lanes with constant rivers of run-off from the adjoining fields my confidence in completing the ride in daylight grew, I was humoured as ever by the bizarre names you encounter on any journey round the UK and couldn’t help but ponder to myself who Dancing Dick of Dancing Dick Lane and farm fame was?
Through totally landlocked Great Sailing and Great Bardfield to Finchingfield the roads were surprisingly deserted, Essex lanes in the summer would provide excellent cycling with loads of cafe’s and villages to stop in and roads that can be ridden as hard or as easy as you wish, I’m sincerely hoping that Boris’s “levelling up” extends to making our Midlands country lanes as pothole free as those I encountered in Essex. A route like this in Warwickshire or Worcestershire would undoubtedly have included many miles of rough pot-holed tarmac complimented with grass and moss growing on the crown of the road!
As I returned to Saffron Walden the light finally made way to darkness completing an excellent day out, certainly not the man versus weather brutal challenge I envisaged back in November but hey everybody deserves a spot of luck occasionally! Fingers crossed the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic with the Omicron variant the latest troublesome strain of the virus will not put paid to my plans for a trip to Sussex in January 2022.
Once again Komoot made route planning simple and effective. The route can be found here https://www.komoot.com/tour/587301570?ref=itd&share_token=aYjE3fLy5LNM0VC5OKJ4ZBNLvVIR7yZUkZnNkKMATs4A9kveWO
The ride in numbers
168.49km Distance – 352 m on a muddy footpath, 1km underwater!
1223m Elevation gain
7hrs 43 min moving time (21.8 km/h)
4 SIS Tropical Fruit gels
2 Pain Au Chocolat
1 Sausage Roll
0 coffee stops
4 bottles of water
0 beer – I’ve had far too many but will be ordering a selection from the Billericay Brewing Company!
0 punctures
1 categorised climb
Finally if you got a spare quid in your pocket my justgiving page to raise vital funds for the Midlands Air Ambulance is now live Keith Jones is fundraising for Midlands Air Ambulance Charity (justgiving.com)
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